YogaConnections

Some of you may know that in my professional life, I am a psychologist. In psychology, we are much preoccupied with the question of what promotes positive change in the people who come to us for help. Yoga is also in the business of promoting positive change so it should be no surprise that the practice of yoga and the practice of psychology have much in common. We care deeply about the well-being of all people and in our actions, we strive to do no harm and to work from a base of solid knowledge or truth.  Whether it is Asana or the tools psychology has to offer, we work hard to be sure that what we have to offer is valuable to those who seek us out, and we believe strongly in what we have developed. We have seen the good that can come from passing along our knowledge to others.

We also know that how we deliver the message is at least as important as the knowledge we have to offer. If we hold our beliefs about a client or student too tightly, we don’t give them room to grow. If we hold our clients or students in our open hands, support them and nourish them with the gentleness and and vital energy of our own breath, they grow according to their own nature and in their own time, which is really the best we can hope for.  

We are human though and sometimes we don’t live up to our own best intentions or highest self.  Maybe through our own frustration, a momentary slip, an overwhelming desire to get though, right a wrong, or a genuine lack of understanding, our delivery becomes sharp as a scalpel or hard as a fist. When that happens, even our best intentions are not enough to soften the blow and the delivery destroys any good we hoped to achieve. Whether we were right or wrong simply doesn’t matter at that point. The recipient becomes defensive and rejects the message because they no longer trust the person who delivered it. Union dissolves, or in psychological language, the therapeutic relationship is lost or damaged. This happens to experienced psychologists, it happens in our personal lives and it can certainly happen to Yogis and yoga teachers as well. Repairing such damage is so difficult, we must do what we can to avoid falling to that point to begin with.

This is one of the main reasons it is important for Yogis and psychologists alike to practice what we preach. We need to take care of ourselves first so that we can be a reliable conduit for the wisdom we have inherited from others. Self-care and a personal practice is important. Ongoing study is important. Applying our values – Ahimsa, doing no harm most of all, is important. We strive to do good and many days we can. On those days we don’t have it, we must, must, must, at the least, do no harm.

So, what to do when you burn to speak or push your students past their edge? When the urge to change, to force the situation, to make something happen is straining at your last reserve? Remember these rules. Remember to ask yourself these three things. Is what I have to offer necessary? Is what I have to offer true? And, above all, Is what I have to offer kind? Failing any of these three tests, your only option is to sacrifice your own desires on the altar of silence. Even as it burns within, know that this is also the fire that burns away your own weaknesses and purifies your soul. This test is waiting for all those on the path of the healer. You will take it many times. This is your offering to your practice. This is your vow. This is your promise and your hope.

In Silence:

Namaste’

Scott